Back to REAL jokes!

For what it's worth, here's the latest text message joke sent to me. I miss this style of humor because it just doesn't translate properly in English... and this one is mostly English but it's still not as funny outside of Filipino circles. So I wrote it down and here it is in case I lose the paper. Feel free to not even get it but I thought it was hilarious:

Once I crush a guy from my alma mother who got my number so we could keep intact. Sabi ko, connect me if I'm wrong, but are you asking me ouch? Sabi nya, "The?!?!" I mean, tell me to the marines ang kapal! The nerd! Naiyak ako because of hunger. I cried buckles of tears. Tapos sabi nya, "Don't cry! Isipin mo na lang this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless of my feelings let's go out na rin." Now we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na yung pass. Thanks we shallowed our fried.

Now to completely spoil it and give you a translation of what it is trying to say:

Once I crossed a guy from my alma mater who got my number so we could keep in touch. I said, correct me if I'm wrong, but are you asking me out? He said, "Duh?!?" I mean, tell it to the marines, how thick! The nerve! I cried because of anger. I cried buckets of tears. Then he said, "Don't cry! Just think of this as a blessing in disguise. Regardless of my feelings, let's still go out." Now we're so in love. Moot and academic is the past. [Good thing] we swallowed our pride!